Forever Isn't As Long As It Used To Be
by loserfaceee
Summary: Because At That Very Second In Time When Everything Seems Perfect And We Are Completely Emotionally Intertwined, It Doesn't Mean It Will Always be That Way Because Nothing Is Forever. AkuRoku. M For Future.


**Authors Note; So, I added more. It's a full chapter now.(:**

**Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer; If I owned it I wouldn't be writing about it on FF.**

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_Forever; What exactly is forever? Is it a secure bond made?_

_Or just simple words said. How long does it last? _

_Does it continue when we're six feet under? _

_Or just a few weeks down the road? Is it really everlasting? _

_Because at that very second when everything_

_seems like the perfect time and _

_we are completely emotionally intertwined,_

_It won't always be that way because_

_nothing is forever._

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**Forever Isn't As Long As It Used To Be**

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I could make out shadows dancing across the pale walls. They belonged to those bastard doctors. The ones who were supposed to "make me feel better". They don't. Nothing does.

I lay in the silence, taking it in. Basking. It feels so good, I like it. Then, there's a light. Its bright, practically blinding me. "Roxas, It's time for your medicine." Fuck. I hate my medicine. Clozaril, Clozaril, Clozaril. In fact, I don't even know why. I just hate it.

He removed the tablet from it's package. _If you don't want any problems today, you should just take it._ NO. Well, maybe yes? An ongoing debate inside my pink fleshy brain. I take it. _Good boy._ "Alright Roxas, That's it." He leaves without giving me the occasional 'You look to thin. Are you sure you aren't hungry?' I barely ever eat. Maybe once a week? Yeah. That's about it.

They're gone. I can't hear any voices. I don't like this, not at all. I miss them, in fact. They keep me company, They understand me. Not like that therapist. Oh no, no, no.

Now, everything is dead silent. Silent, silent, silent. I'm completely hating everything second of this. Just close your eyes. Close, close, close. I'm drifting. It's nice to fall into a big universe of nothing. Pure pleasure.

I awake with tiny beads of sweat clinging to my skin. They remind me of crystals. I'm not even sure why I'm sweating, It's weird. I feel an odd sensation in my stomach. It's madly growling. There's nothing I can do though because I have to wait for a nurse to check on me. I curl into a ball, pushing a pillow to my stomach hoping it'll suppress the hunger eating at the stomach lining.

* * *

_I remember this night._

_The one that changed everything._

_I was enjoying all the vibrant colors,_

_The high._

_Everything seemed so right._

_But, if everything was right why did I let it happen?_

_I gave myself away._

_My body, My love, My everything._

_I let him in._

_I shouldn't have. _

* * *

"Roxas, You have a visitor." The nurse says. I just stare at her. Who would want to visit me? She turns away, Her expression told me she was waiting for an answer. Oh well. I just sit there wondering who would possibly awaiting to see me.

Just then, Someone appears in the doorway. I know this person, They seem so familiar. Then it hit me. He let those terrifying words pour from his mouth, "Hello, Roxas."

Return

Oh my god. This can't be real. Maybe it's just an imagination. Yeah, That's it.

"What's wrong, Roxas? Cat got your tongue?" He spat.

"No. It's just amazing me how you think you can walk in her like everything is alright and just fuck dandy." This is pissing me off so much. I feel like getting on top off him and ripping off his face.

He sighed. "Roxas, I'm truly sorry. I'm sorry that I hurt you and got you started on drugs.

It's my fault you're here. I'm sorry." He turned his back and started to walk away.

"Wait." He stopped.

"Yes?" His voice was soft, He was crying. I could tell.

"Sit with me." The bed sunk in from his invisible weight.

I moved closer and looked up, Ocean meeting water stained Emeralds. I wiped the tears from his cheeks and licked away the liquid.

He wrapped his arm around me. Warmth immediately coursed through my body. I've missed this for so long and now I finally have it.

"Roxy," He cooed. "Ya know what I didn't tell you before I left?"

I hummed questioningly.

He leaned down to whisper in my ear, "That I loved you."

A smiled spread across my face And I dug my head into his chest.

"You can't love me…"

"How?"

I swallowed hard. "Because I'm not worth loving. There isn't anything special about me. I'm just skin and bones,. That's not beautiful at all. And I'm crazy."

He shook his head in disbelief. "You are beautiful no matter what, Crazy or not."

We stayed cuddled in the silence for about 30 minutes.

"I have to leave now so I won't be late for work."

"Alright, Promise to visit again?"

"I promise."

He slowly pushed open the door and the last glimpse I got was on those acid eyes and crimson spikes.

"I loved you too." I completely break down and cried.

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